Human Expiration Date

(or why old people get a bad rep)
I'm sorry, could some one please show me where to find the expiration date on people? Back of the neck? Oh please don't let it be some where I'd need a flashlight and nerves of steel to look.
You see, I just didn't realize, I had no clue that there's a magical age people reach where they no longer have to do stuff, bother with stuff or learn new stuff. What stuff??? I don't know, just stuff, it can be anything but the magical phrase that rolls off their tongue is something like this "I'm 60 years old I shouldn't have to do this!"
Ummmmm...really?
I had no idea, is it the same age for every body? Or is it like birth marks, every one's is different and some people don't have em at all.
It must be some over 50 club that you don't learn about till you blow the candles out on your 50th birthday cake, then along with some ice cream and prezzies you get to start shouting "I'm 50 years old, I shouldn't have to deal with this" (THIS could be anything from opening their own presents to talking in a normal volume of voice) Because apparently when you reach your magical expiration date all the cool stuff that makes us human, the striving to learn more, be a better person, face challenges and try new things is now not only optional but in most cases refusable. Well damn...I gotta get me some of that 60 years oldishness.
Cause there's a lot of stuff I'd love to refuse, and hollering "I'm 29 years old, I shouldn't have to do the dishes." just doesn't have that nice ring to it. Now if if I was 60 I could screech "I'm 60 years old, I'm 60 years old!" See that? See how you don't even need to say what it is pissing you off, you just get to holler your age and it's like a blanket excuse for everything, a reminder for every one under 60 that we just DON'T UNDERSTAND. Because apparently it's SO hard being the age of your expiration date that you can start acting rude, cranky and whiney about changes. "I'm 60 years old THINGS SHOULDN'T CHANGE."
Oh man, am I gonna be skewered now?
Screw it, I'm 29 years old and I don't give a damn.
(insert wild cackling here)